Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 5, 2008 18:36:14 GMT
Had she known what Tobin was thinking, Beth would have told him not to worry about her so much. That he didn’t have to leave and that he was more than welcome to stay as long as he wanted to, mostly because she thought he might possibly leave immediately if she said however long he needed to. Then again, what if he needed to stay longer but didn’t actually want to? Perhaps she would have figured out a better way to word it if he had brought he subject up with her. As it was, she was blissfully unaware as they continued to study the large selection of ice cream available to the.
“There have been some nights where I couldn’t sleep and a bowl of ice cream was just called for.” It had been that way since she was a kid, when she and her sister would wait until they knew their parents were asleep and snuck down to the kitchen for a big bowl of late night ice cream. It had always seemed like an adventure then.
Looking at the tub of ice cream Tobin was pointing to, Beth grinned. “Oh, Rocky Road. That’s always been one of my favorites. Chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and nuts, can’t go wrong there. Do you want to try some? We’ll get it if you do.”
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Tobin
Omega Werewolf
Sheppard's Pack
Posts: 95
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Post by Tobin on Sept 10, 2008 21:23:17 GMT
He liked it here. He liked the food, the feeling of safety, the movies and most of all he liked the fact that Miss. Beth was here. That made this place the best he had ever visited. Of course, that wasn’t really saying anything, since before then he was hardly aware of any of the towns and cities he had passed through. Things such as the food, the view or the entertainment had hardly been on his list of priorities after all when instead the most – indeed the only – thing that had mattered was staying alive by getting through each day with as few beatings as was possible.
Tobin would have loved to hear more about those nights, or any of her stories about her childhood. It enthralled him, the mere idea of a childhood like that, the stories making it all sound so exotic, so unreal, far more exciting and capable of transporting you away from the real world than some of the things he had seen on the television. “Rocky… road.” Tobin repeated the name thoughtfully, testing it out to se how it felt to say. He couldn’t understand, if it was chocolate with marshmallows and nuts, why it wasn’t just called that. It sounded tempting however, because although he had tried all those before; marshmallows were lovely and sticky; he’d not had them all in one mix. It sounded very sweet and therefore very good. “If you like it we should get some.”
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Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 15, 2008 15:45:34 GMT
Beth had always enjoyed showing others new things and with Tobin, she had that chance more than she really ever had. It was odd to her how little he really knew about the world at large, but she was more than happy to tell him about anything and everything that he might ever have questions about. She liked watching his face as he tried and experienced things that he had clearly never done before. Showing and letting Tobin trying new things had shown her how much she took such things for granted and she was determined to start appreciating things more; she had it very easy compared to some and she was determined to start enjoying everything the way she should rather than just taking for granted that it’s there and at her disposal when she wanted it.
She was happy to talk about her childhood now. For a while after her sister had died, talking about Bella had hurt far too much, but she could do it now without the pain. In fact, she could thoroughly enjoy telling the stories and often got a good laugh out of some of the things that had happened. They had managed to get into some trouble, but it had mostly been humorous when she looked back on it now.
“I think we should get it.” Beth promptly put it in the basked and looked at what they had gathered. “I think we’ve got everything…”
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Tobin
Omega Werewolf
Sheppard's Pack
Posts: 95
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Post by Tobin on Sept 15, 2008 16:13:48 GMT
He knew nothing when he met her. Well nothing that he really wanted to share with the young human or admit to knowing. Tobin didn’t want her to know about the darker parts of his past, the bits that threatened to come out and overwhelm him during the night, when he dreamt of terrors that he couldn’t voice, that paralysed him. Tobin didn’t know how much of those nightmares Miss. Beth was aware of, he tried his best to hide them because she might ask and if she knew, well Tobin couldn’t bare to think of her knowing anymore than she could have worked out upon their first meeting.
It never failed to amaze Tobin whenever they either went shopping or he saw Miss. Beth come back laden down with bags full to bursting with food. How two people could actually eat that much was beyond his comprehension and even more confusing was the fact that they managed it. Rather quickly as well, because they always seemed to be at the shops, buying this thing or that to keep the cupboards groaning. Tobin could very quickly get used to eating a large amount of food, even if he didn’t think he could ever really get used to the fact they got so much. It always seemed smaller on the table.
“Okay,” Tobin agreed, walking next to her as they started to move down the aisle again, past untold delights. Even with the large amount they bought, there still seemed endless things they’d never bought.
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Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 15, 2008 16:31:33 GMT
Sometimes Beth thought that she heard Tobin make sounds in the night that sounded distinctly like something that might come from a nightmare. She didn’t know what he dreamed about and as many times as she had wanted to ask, she hadn’t. She was concerned, but it really wasn’t any of her business, so she never said anything about it. She simply got out of bed as silently as she could and put a hand on his shoulder, wanting to wake him but uncertain if she should. In the end, she always kept her hand in place until the nightmare seemed to end and went back to bed, wondering what he had been dreaming and again considering whether or not she should ask about the nightmares.
Beth always bought more than she normally would for two people, wanting to make sure that Tobin had more than enough to get his fill. She hadn’t been sure at first how much to get, but as she had started to notice his eating habits, she had started to think that perhaps buying so much was a good thing. And it wasn’t like she actually minded. She wanted to buy more than enough so that she wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not he was getting enough to eat and while it might have seemed smaller on the table, there was always plenty in the kitchen if it turned out that they needed more.
As they moved to the checkout lines, Beth started to scan them, looking for the one that seemed to be moving at a good speed. It didn’t have to be the fastest, but she hated to stand in a line that never seemed to move. Spotting one that seemed decent she took up place at the end and glanced around. She was already making a shopping list for the next time, to which she would add whatever was actually needed when it got closer to time for another store run.
“We’ll go home and get everything put away before deciding on dinner. We wouldn’t want the ice cream to melt and need to refreeze before we can have some.” She had accidentally let ice cream melt one time and it had frustrated her to no end because not being able to eat it had only made her want it that much more.
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Tobin
Omega Werewolf
Sheppard's Pack
Posts: 95
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Post by Tobin on Sept 15, 2008 16:58:43 GMT
He would have been horrified to realise he was so pathetic, that he couldn’t even control himself when he slept. Tobin wouldn’t have been the only one to be ashamed of the show of weakness but somehow, in the past, he hadn’t dreamt of the tortures he suffered during the day. Perhaps it was because his brain was just so full of reality that there just wasn’t energy or space to use it during the night as well. Or perhaps it was because then he had known no different, that he hadn’t realised there was anything other than the pain. When the misery was the norm without any knowledge of anything else, what was the point of dreaming more of the same.
Tobin trailed obediently next to her, glancing around at the different lines as well, although without the skill to know which would be the best. It seemed to be the sort of thing you just seemed to know without learning, the thing that you either had – or you didn’t. Left to pick himself, Tobin always managed to gravitate towards the line that then stopped moving. Picking the worse might be a skill in itself but it wasn’t a skill he really wanted. Unless he used it by going towards the last line he would have normally picked. That was cunning. Still, he was glad that Beth was there to make those kind of choices for him, already he had learnt that things just worked better whenever she was around and in control.
“Melted ice cream tastes… funny. Different.” Tobin offered, giving a soft little huff afterwards to show what he felt about that sort of taste. It was alright enough he supposed; he’d eat it if given it, but it was nothing on actual frozen ice cream, eaten in the style it was supposed to be. The fact that Tobin had felt brave enough to make any kind of comment and small sound of discontent, even directed at something they were trying to avoid was a landmark achievement, showing that for a few moments at least, he had managed to forget himself and his lowly position in life.
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Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 15, 2008 17:16:05 GMT
Had she heard that Tobin thought that it was pathetic, Beth would have been quick to point out that she didn’t think that it was. It happened. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Dreams weren’t something that were easily controlled and she failed to see what anyone should feel embarrassed about what they dreamed or how they reacted to the dreams, especially the nightmares. Fear was a natural reaction to some things and reacting to the fear was just as natural. She probably would have rambled on about such things if Tobin ever found out about the sounds he made during his nightmares and said anything about being ashamed of them.
It had taken a lot of trial and error for Beth to figure out how to choose the best line at a store when she had the choice between numerous ones, but she had finally learned how to tell which was most likely to move faster than others. Of course, she was far from being perfect and often found herself standing in a slow moving line anyway, but she could usually at least manage to avoid the slowest line and she always put that down as a win on her part. Tonight it seemed as if her choice had been good and that the line was going to continue to move at its steady, faster than normal speed.
She gave a little smile at Tobin’s comment. “I know what you mean. Once, my sister and I decided that some ice cream we accidentally left in her car for a little too long wasn’t melted too much to eat. Not only did we make a disaster of the kitchen to the point that we spent nearly an hours trying to scrub it clean before our parents could get home and find the mess, but we agreed that it really hadn’t been worth it. Now, when we made our own milkshakes was a completely different story. The mess was always worth it. And did we always managed to make a mess.”
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Tobin
Omega Werewolf
Sheppard's Pack
Posts: 95
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Post by Tobin on Sept 15, 2008 18:38:41 GMT
Fear was something to be ashamed of. It was the accumulation of everything negative and wrong, and then to make that submission to your feelings was made even worse by expressing it and letting others know how you felt. Decades of belief and instructions drilled into him day after day, hour by hour and second by incredibly painful second ensured that such things he felt and kept quiet were the things that he believed the most. Things like the shame he felt upon even having nightmares, shame that would be magnified by any kind of admission, no matter what Beth actually said to him.
Every few moments they would inch forward a little, taking a step as the items on the conveyer belt were moved along, the beeping sound almost reassuring in its steady and unchanging tone. Tobin liked things that seemed constant, that were not about to change when he blinked. They were safe, they were easy to understand. It was those things they were forever shifting that he had trouble with, the odd program he had seen on the wonderful box about characters that seemed neither good nor evil, but a strange place in the shadows between them, sometimes doing good, sometimes not. He didn’t like those shows.
Tobin felt however, that he would have liked Beth’s sister, had they met. He wasn’t quite sure why they hadn’t, except something had clearly happened to the woman who featured so prominently in so many of Beth’s stories. He’d never asked, partly afraid it would be pushing past something he wasn’t supposed to and partly because he felt as though he would be incapable of truly comprehending the answer; there wee so many different ways to describe one who was no longer there and it confused him so. If she wanted him to know, he would know. Otherwise, Tobin would keep quiet, ignoring the occasional wonder.
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Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 15, 2008 19:02:24 GMT
Tobin may have learned that fear was something that one should be ashamed of, but Beth had learned that fear could be extremely helpful if used appropriately. Of course, she had never experienced anything really, really frightening- well, at least, before that day at the shop when Tobin had managed to get in. That had scared her a good deal, but things had turned out really well. At least, she thought so. She hadn’t gotten killed and had gained a friend, because whether Tobin thought of her that way or not, she considered him a friend. Sometimes, what a person feared didn’t turn out to be as bad as they thought it was- like the fear she had had of the werewolf when she had first seen him. Things hadn’t turned out at all like she had thought they would. Other times, though, fear could be put to good use if someone knew how to do it.
While Tobin enjoyed consistency, Beth needed change every now and then in order to be truly happy. It didn’t have to be anything big, either. Styling her hair differently could bring as much happiness as getting a new sofa or anything else that changed for the better. There was nothing wrong with things being constant and she knew that she would have been miserable if things changed all the time, but it was good in doses and only when the change was something good.
Beth honestly thought that Bella would have liked Tobin as much as she did. They had often looked for the same thing in those they surrounded themselves with and there was no doubt that, had her sister been alive, she would have approved of Tobin being in her younger sister’s circle of friends.
Beth didn’t have the tendency to tell people that her sister was dead. If it came up in conversation, it was one thing, but if there was no reason to share that information, she saw no point in it. It would have felt far too much like seeking out attention and sympathy if she had.
“If there’s any candy you’d like to try, you’re welcome to get it.” She nodded to the displays by the register, before reaching out and putting a candy bar into the basket for herself, hoping that it’ll coax Tobin into getting something if he saw something that he might want to try.
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Tobin
Omega Werewolf
Sheppard's Pack
Posts: 95
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Post by Tobin on Sept 15, 2008 19:59:16 GMT
He felt bad about that day. Scaring Beth had been the last thing he wanted to do now, not just because Tobin didn’t want to be the one who was the cause of such negative emotions but also the idea that he was the cause of such shameful feelings would have been hard to bear. It was not his intention to do anything that could hurt her, and that day had. It was yet another example of how much he failed his teachings. She was right about one thing however; fear could be put to a ‘good’ use if the person was skilled enough and his old teacher was more than skilled in the art of fear.
Skilled in all manner of arts in fact; he had considered himself more than a leader, a teacher, but an artist. Tobin had seen more than one canvas break under his teachings, and had felt that skill on countless occasions.
Even when the change was good, Tobin couldn’t help but feel unsettled by it, almost as if he was going to be left behind by the change and constantly feeling as though he was unable to keep up with it all. It made living in this strange new world he had found a challenge a good deal of the time, one he struggled along with as best he could. For the moment at least, he felt that he was managing to stay abreast as well as he could, the visit to the shop had gone remarkably well, with only a minor startle for him earlier on in the trip.
Tobin understood – in a way – the concept of death. That a person could breath, speak, feel one moment and then be gone the next. He’d seen more than one die before his eyes but they hadn’t counted. They hadn’t truly been alive in the way he was, and so they couldn’t truly be dead. Tobin knew that there was something very flawed with that way of thinking, that before speaking to the human next to him, he would have counted her among those not truly alive but it was all beyond him, even a tentative thought that his teacher had perhaps been flawed was too much to take in.
Candy chased away any distressing thoughts of fear, shame, death or teaching. Instantly his mind was more preoccupied with the far more pleasant task of picking out some candy. Before he moved towards the display however he hesitated, looking over at Beth. “Are there any candy you would like?”
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Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 15, 2008 20:32:35 GMT
As far as Beth was concerned, Tobin shouldn’t have felt bad about that day. At points, she had the feeling that she might have scared him a whole lot more than he had her and for that, she felt guilty, especially now that she had gotten to know him a little better. She certainly didn’t know a lot about him, but she knew him well enough that she felt extremely bad for scaring him like she had, even though she really didn’t understand how that could have been. After all, she was just a human and compared to a werewolf, that wasn’t much. She was still uncertain as to why he had seemed so frightened, but she hadn’t asked and wouldn’t. That was his business. She was just glad that he didn’t seem afraid of her any more.
Beth didn’t think about change- in any form- unless it was time to. If she thought of ways to change things- or how things could change- all the time, she’d never manage to get anything at all done. Sometimes, changes were minor- ordering white carnations instead of pink- but they could just as easily be major- life changing and maybe even jarring. No one could ever know when a change was coming and how much it will affect them (except for planned changes, of course) but Beth had always found it easier to go with them and hope that, end the end, everything would turn out well.
“I’ve got what I want,” Beth replied, motioning towards the candy that she had already put into the cart. “Pick out whatever you might like. If I’m going to make recommendations, I’d suggest the Milky Way, Snickers or Pay Day, but that’s just me. Everything else is pretty good too, though.”
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Tobin
Omega Werewolf
Sheppard's Pack
Posts: 95
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Post by Tobin on Sept 16, 2008 22:05:43 GMT
Perhaps things would have worked better and quicker between the two of them if they actually talked about the things on which they were so divided. Then again, each of them held strong views, no matter which was right and he was pretty sure Beth was a far too stubborn woman to be convinced by anything other than the best. Tobin wasn’t prepared to show her how he had learnt and been converted to his strongly held convictions, even if some part of him felt sure that those same lessons would change her mind.
If it came down to that, then Tobin didn’t think he wanted Beth to change her mind or be swayed to that ‘truth’, no matter how truthful it actually was or wasn’t. The truth might set you free but if it set you free after an unimaginable amount of pain then when it came to Miss. Beth at least, he didn’t want her to be ‘free’.
He glanced down at the cart, taking in the gaudy wrappers of the different candy, silently berating himself for not noticing when she had taken them at the time. Tobin was supposed to be better than that, alert enough to know when anything happened. It seemed it was more than just the pain teachings that were failing him, once he was no longer with his leader. Tobin repressed the little shiver as he tried to imagine what would happen if it was ever discovered how he had fallen. The results would not be pleasant, not like candy was pleasant.
Silently, he moved towards the rack, scanning the different sweets on offer there.
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Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 17, 2008 16:58:11 GMT
Beth was undeniably stubborn sometimes and she never would have been able to understand how Tobin could have allowed himself to be put through such teachings. There would have been a part in her that understood, but it would have been a small part. More than anything, she would have felt terrible for him while digging her heels in stubbornly. It was her way and there was really no changing that. She believed what she believed- just like everyone- and her mind wasn’t easily changed. She had never been taught through pain, but she liked to think that she would be able to hold onto her resolve through it, even if she knew that it was likely she would bend and break under the pain. There was only so much one could take, after all, and while she likely to think that she could push headlong through such things and come out stronger and better for it in the end, she would break like anyone if put through enough pain.
If she had known that he was berating himself for such a little thing, she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself from telling him to cut it out right then and there. It wasn’t like she had made a big show of picking something out and dropping it into the cart and he was busy looking around and listening to her as she had spoken. She had thought he had been watching her, but it wasn’t like it was a big deal that he hadn’t been. Even so, something in her felt that perhaps Tobin simply wanted to be helpful and she scanned the display again.
“Actually, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble… Do you see the orange package just by your right hand? Would you get me one of those, please?” She really did love what she had just pointed him towards and hadn’t even noticed it when she had been taking something for herself, but she asked him to get it because she thought that he perhaps had asked to be helpful.
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Tobin
Omega Werewolf
Sheppard's Pack
Posts: 95
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Post by Tobin on Sept 21, 2008 17:21:12 GMT
There, right there, was the crux of the matter; ‘allowed.’ As though Tobin had a single thought or will into how his training had taken place, as though he could have chosen at any time to give up or give in and just say no to any more punishment. The training had been all he had ever known, and there hadn’t been the luxury of a choice, let alone even the mere understanding of what a choice actually was or the idea that perhaps there was something else than this. The body could only take so much pain before it folded under the pressure, even if somehow the mind was still standing strong, or as in the case of Tobin, if he was just too stupid to do as he was told, even when his body begged him too or his voice screamed of its own accord until his throat was raw from the noise.
He wanted to be helpful, or rather, he felt as though he had to be helpful, to do something. After all the years of being told what to do and how to do it, he felt somewhat at a loss here. Fetching something, even a single, tiny item was a little like the status quo he was used to, even if others might consider it deeming for a wolf to wait on a human. Tobin wanted to however, and considering how little his wants had mattered before, it meant a lot to him that he was able to do that now, giving a smile and nod at her request.
Tobin carefully pulled the requested packet from the rack, holding it lightly between his fingers as he first selected a bag of bite sized three musketeers and then a dark milky way.
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Beth
Human
Flower Shop Owner
Posts: 98
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Post by Beth on Sept 29, 2008 15:38:19 GMT
She had no idea as to what was going through Tobin’s mind, but had she had even the tiniest inkling of what had happened to him in the past, she would have either gotten angry that someone could treat anyone so badly that they started thinking even half the things Tobin did or she would have been glad that she didn’t know the whole story because she would have gotten even angrier. Very likely, it would have been a combination of both. As it was though, she was just glad to see him smiling, even if she didn’t understand the whole reason behind the smile.
Beth gave a smile of her own as the woman in front of them began to pay for her purchases. “Thanks.” Moving around to the other end of the cart, she began pulling things out of the basket and putting them on the conveyer belt. Now that they were the ones being checked out and the cashier had started to ring up their purchases, it wouldn’t be long before they could leave the store and get a start on the rest of the night.
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