Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 16, 2010 17:45:43 GMT
Gwen didn't see him change back, he was at the periphery of her vision and the first thing she noted as different was when he took her elbow gently and she realised he was standing beside her, not longer a wolf but back in the shape of the man she recognised. Relief fought for a grip on her while she struggled for control and composure, but with shock still raging through her body she was a slave to whatever emotion got the best of her. She nodded, sitting down was exactly what she wanted to do, she needed the room to stop spinning so that she could arrange her thoughts and for the time being she wasn't concerned with how angry or upset she would soon be, how frightened. Everything was overshadowed by shock and the soup-like consistency of the carpet beneath her feet.
Then she was sitting on the edge of the bed, he must have lead her there and she took several long, deep breaths trying to get back the ability to see properly, to understand her surroundings. When her vision cleared some she looked at Harrison, pale as anything. "You were--" a shake of her head, disbelief clearing like fog burnt away by the morning sun. "Oh God, you're a werewolf." Those words still sounded utterly outlandish and insane but she couldn't deny what she'd just witnessed.
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Harrison
Rogue Werewolf
Defence Attorney
I need another story, something to get off my chest.
Posts: 30
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Post by Harrison on Aug 16, 2010 17:50:24 GMT
Acceptance was settling in now, finding its place, and looking into her eyes from where he crouched in front of her he could see it going through the motions, working through the stages. They weren't done yet, not by a long shot, there were plenty of things they still needed to go through but they were making progress. He wasn't naive enough to think that it would be plain sailing, but the first big hurdle had been cleared, at least. That was something. It was better than nothing, certainly.
"Yes I am." She didn't need his confirmation, but he kept calm and offered it anyway. He was a calm individual anyway, rarely pushed to anger or provoked to any kind of extreme, but given the situation it seemed important to keep himself composed and controlled in every way. Gwen wasn't a werewolf herself and didn't really need him to keep himself so calm on every level but it never hurt, no matter who or what you were dealing with. Harrison had learned that a long time ago. "Are you all right?"
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Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 16, 2010 18:03:29 GMT
This was why she had asked for proof, for something tangible and undeniable that would help her, give her a starting point for dealing with what was going on not only with Harrison but with being pregnant too. Now she had what she'd asked for she was taking a long while to process it, to funnel the hundreds of thoughts carving themselves on the inside of her skull into one single-file so that she could address.
"All right?" Gwen asked. Suddenly incensed by his question she looked up from her knees and grabbed his upper arms in her slender hands. "All right? Of course I'm not all right, Harrison. Jesus." Her fingers squeezed and she shook him slightly, though he was hardly easily moveable and she barely made an impression on his balance. Her expression was both hurt and confused, but now with a new sense of direction as the understanding started to seep in through the cracks and a vein of anger. "What didn't you tell me? How could you do this to--" her train of thought jumped and she released a hand to place over her lower-abdomen. "Oh my god, the baby, what does this-- will it be okay?"
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Harrison
Rogue Werewolf
Defence Attorney
I need another story, something to get off my chest.
Posts: 30
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Post by Harrison on Aug 16, 2010 18:10:55 GMT
There was that artist's temperament again, something he had been fully anticipating, so when she grabbed him by the upper arms and shook him it didn't exactly come as a surprise. Had he been younger, less capable of controlling his animal side, the sudden movement and attempt to rock his balance if only a fraction might have provoked him, but thankfully that was far from the case. Harrison had been in control of his wolf for well over a century, and that enabled him to basically just crouch there and taken Gwen's little outburst. Not that it was an outburst, not in the way that a child throws a tantrum anyway. It was justified. It was still perfectly justified under the circumstances.
His gaze dropped down to follow her hand and he felt guilt tighten his chest. How had he let this happen? For years he had been careful, he had taken precautions of so many kinds, and not once had it occurred to him that any one of the human women he had seen over the last couple of decades might get pregnant. For a moment it was all he could do not to drop his face into his hand and instead remain composed. "Yes, the baby will be okay," he told her, hoping and praying that that was the case. Harrison didn't know why it wouldn't be okay. "This won't hurt the baby, I promise you."
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Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 16, 2010 18:20:55 GMT
That was a relief. It hadn't even occurred to her to abort the pregnancy, not before Harrison had told her about himself, and not after. It hadn't even been a conscious decision, she had just known when she'd looked at those three tests in her hands with all their pink lines that she was keeping this baby, whether he was involved or not she was going to be a mother. Later she would probably long for the uncomplicated issues of how they were going to raise a child, if he would want to be part of it, if he wasn't ready for that, simple human problems that now looked so small. Now the scope of the problem had grown she much that Gwen could no longer see the edges and borders and boundaries.
"And me?" Gwen asked, searching his expression with a nervous frown, her voice was unmistakably frightened when she spoke. "Will I be okay?" Physically she meant; she had no idea what or if anything would be different if the father was a werewolf and she did believe him when he said that it would be alright, so there was that at least.
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Harrison
Rogue Werewolf
Defence Attorney
I need another story, something to get off my chest.
Posts: 30
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Post by Harrison on Aug 17, 2010 13:39:49 GMT
Harrison never would have dreamed of asking Gwen to give up the baby in any way. It was as much her child as it was his, and he was happy; right now, though, it was just more important that he ensure she understood everything about him and what he was, and they could go from there. Guilt weighed heavily all the same, the male wolf finding that he felt bad for how he had dropped the bombshell, that he had, in his own way, ruined the moment so to speak. It was just one of those normal things that could never really be normal for him; he wasn't bitter, just concerned, determined to give Gwen all the information she needed and provide her with the answers to her questions.
His eyes met hers and held, focused and sincere as he lifted one hand to lay it over hers on her stomach. "You'll be okay," he told her. "I would never let anything happen to you, Gwen. You know I mean that." If there had been any danger to the pregnancy, he would have told her by now. That would have been front and centre in his mind, a dominant concern. If at any point something seemed wrong, he would do everything in his power to make sure she got the best care possible. It conjured questions all of his own, matters that he would need to take care of. Gwen wouldn't be able to go through this as women usually did; special measures would have to be taken, he would have to make some calls and see if he could make some arrangements. At the end of the day he would do whatever was necessary to make sure Gwen had everything she needed.
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Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 17, 2010 14:13:45 GMT
Another relief. The panic that had been starting to fizz in her guts was doused down for the time being; there was no risk to the baby, but new fears rose up to take the place of old ones placated. Needless to say this had not been how she had imagined giving news of her pregnancy to Harrison or anyone, she had thought about it on occasion, how her parents would react, how her girl friends would squeal and how she had imagined a quiet evening talking it through with Harrison. That normality was now so far behind her that she was starting to forget how she had thought the evening would progress in favour of keeping her head above water with the information she was being given.
"But... will it be-- will it be like you?" As in a werewolf. Gwen didn't know what to think about that if the answer was yes and instantly started worrying whether it would look human or not, if it would even be recognisable to her as her own child. "I mean, it's going to be human, right? It's-- there isn't a wolf growing inside of me?"
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Harrison
Rogue Werewolf
Defence Attorney
I need another story, something to get off my chest.
Posts: 30
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Post by Harrison on Aug 17, 2010 14:52:33 GMT
As a wolf Harrison was just as perceptive of changes in another person, another living being; with other wolves it was that much easier to read and sense, but given how much time he spent around humans he could get by just as well with them as he could with others of his own kind. Gwen was still upset, confused, afraid. It wasn't empathy, it was nothing like it; Harrison, like other wolves who knew how to trust what their senses were telling them, could gauge energies more than actual emotions, and it took time and patience to figure out just how to pull them apart and figure out what was what. It helped him to keep pace with Gwen, that perception that was all animal and instinct, and given the situation, that was a useful thing to have on his side.
The question -- or perhaps it was a realisation; it was almost like Gwen had figured it out for herself rather than needing it all laid out for her -- that he had been waiting for was finally aired and he kept his gaze on hers, that light of apology returning, part of him already anticipating some sort of disappointment on her part for the answer that was simply formed and offered without delay, "Yes, it will be like me. The baby will be a werewolf." The pause was brief, just enough for that to sink in before he did his best to clear up her immediate concerns, "But the baby will be born human. They won't start changing until they reach puberty. They'll have enhanced senses, better reflexes and balance, but it won't come to term until they reach the right age, physically."
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Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 17, 2010 15:05:41 GMT
"Oh god-- okay," Gwen said. "Oh my god." Dizziness forgotten she pushed herself up from the bed and paced away again, as if she needed the physical distance between them in order to process what he was telling her; the baby, the child growing inside her was a werewolf. Not yet, she had picked that up through the haze of confusion at least, it wouldn't be able to change (she assumed that was a euphemism for what Harrison had done earlier) until it was old enough. It would never be old enough, she thought, her instinctual reaction that she wasn't going to be okay with this when it came around. It was so far away, too far to really think about in reality but she couldn't help her thoughts and imaginings running away with her.
Gwen leant over her dresser, her palms flat against the surface as she thought hard and long about everything that he had told her, and then about how blissfully unaware she'd been for eighteen months, how she had been happily going about her days thinking Harrison was completely normal and how lucky she was to have finally met someone who was interested in her who wasn't an asshole artist. That was when the anger started. "If I hadn't gotten pregnant," she started slowly, "would you have told me any of this?"
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Harrison
Rogue Werewolf
Defence Attorney
I need another story, something to get off my chest.
Posts: 30
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Post by Harrison on Aug 17, 2010 15:11:14 GMT
If it had been up to Harrison, had everything been under his control, so to speak, he never would have told her any of what he had. It was better -- at least before today -- that she didn't know, that she continue living in that blissfully unaware bubble that so many humans existed within, the kind that would allow her to go through her days, walk around Los Angeles, shop and work and go out with friends, without looking at every other person around her and wonder whether they were supernaturals or mortals like her. Harrison had wanted her to continue her life that way; she was a sensible, intelligent woman, she didn't take any risks, but now that she knew that werewolves really existed, how much would it change her approach to things? He hoped it wasn't much, that it didn't change her, that she didn't stop being the woman he had met and fallen for over a year ago. There was no way of knowing yet, things might change over time. He would have to wait and see what happened.
Rising from his crouch beside the bed, he turned his body towards where she leant against the dresser, taking note of the line of her shoulders and the curve of her spine as she stood there. Honesty was the best path to take, one that he had always tried to tread with her wherever possible. There was no sense in deviating now, even if it wasn't necessarily what she wanted to hear. "No," he told her, voice gentle. "I wouldn't have told you if you hadn't gotten pregnant."
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Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 17, 2010 16:06:38 GMT
"Goddamnit, Harrison!" Gwen gave the dresser an emphatic thump with her palms and whirled around. It was an answer she'd been expecting if she was perfectly honest, if he had intended to tell her any of this at all he would have done so already, she thought, but it was just because of one night, one accident that they were in this situation and she felt like she didn't even know him at all.
Words failed her for a moment, too many accusations and angry questions trying to burst out of her, overloading her; she raked her hair back, fighting for some kind of linear approach. Failing that she blurted out the next strings of words that burned up through her chest. "How could you keep this from me?" A pause, angry tears starting to puddle in her eyes. "I mean-- Christ, do you have any idea how stupid this makes me feel? How-- ugh, how worthless? How could you do this to me?" If she was aware that she was shouting she didn't show it, her cheeks flushed and burned and her heartbeat sped up, her hands continuing to shake some as adrenaline sizzled through her body.
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Harrison
Rogue Werewolf
Defence Attorney
I need another story, something to get off my chest.
Posts: 30
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Post by Harrison on Aug 17, 2010 19:52:00 GMT
A split second before she thumped her hands down with that emphatic shout of frustration, Harrison sensed the change in the air, like the faintest crackle of electricity in the atmosphere. It was only a moment but it was enough to prepare him and so he didn't even so much as start when the various items displayed neatly over the top of the dresser rattled from the sudden force of the impact from her hands. He was ready to meet her eyes when she turned and he held them without fear, but not without apology. If he had thought it was safe, that she wouldn't somehow come to harm from knowing, he would have told her everything, but it was dangerous for a human to know about the supernatural world, even if they were close to it in some way as Gwen had been for a year and a half now. Harrison had only wanted to keep her safe. He cared about her too much to take those kinds of risks with her safety.
That hadn't helped him prevent the one thing he should have been especially careful of whilst engaging in a romantic relationship with a human woman, though. Why hadn't he thought ahead? Why hadn't he prepared for this possibility?
As Gwen raised her voice, quickly escalating from one level to the next, Harrison's ears protested sharply to the aggravation, the extra volume bordering on uncomfortable. He wasn't like some werewolves, he hadn't familiarised himself with guns and combat, he wasn't a fighter beyond what he had naturally in his wolf form. There were some things he hadn't acclimatised himself to, though perhaps as a defence attorney he should have been better prepared for raised voices. Finally he stepped away from the foot of the bed and a little closer to her but maintained his distance. The last thing Gwen needed right now was provocation. "I was trying to keep you safe," he told her. "It's dangerous for a human to know about the supernatural world, that's why I didn't want to tell you." He hated to hear her say things like that, that she felt stupid and worthless, especially when nothing could be further from the truth. "You're not stupid, and you're not worthless. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before now, Gwen, but please believe me when I say I had your best interests at heart. I never meant to hide anything from you and I certainly never meant to hurt you."
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Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 17, 2010 21:23:13 GMT
Gwen raised one hand towards him as he came a bit closer, stepping back and bumping into the dress, knocking over a perfume bottle over. There may have been a good deal of logic in his words, she might even have been able to see his point of view, to trust that keeping things from her had indeed been in her best interest up until this point but as it was she simply couldn't see things that way, all she knew was that he had been lying to her and now she was carrying some kind of supernatural child, a baby that was going to grow up to be a werewolf and her mind couldn't grasp rationality in any way, shape or form with that massive blind spot.
"How dare you? I'm an adult, Harry, you can't just... make decisions like that for me!" She paused only to draw air. "You don't think living in ignorance of this bullshit is dangerous? Hell, walking down the street in Los Angeles is dangerous, so what kind of danger are you even talking about? And you could have told me, you just chose not to! I mean, what? Does it help you blend in to have a human girlfriend or something? Is that what this is? You made a decision to keep this from me because it was easier."
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Harrison
Rogue Werewolf
Defence Attorney
I need another story, something to get off my chest.
Posts: 30
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Post by Harrison on Aug 17, 2010 21:42:55 GMT
The further their conversation went, the more it escalated, the more Harrison found himself wishing he had told her sooner. It would have been completely reckless, a huge risk to take, it might even have been described as irresponsible in a way, but at least then Gwen would have known. But would she have stayed? He was more attached to her than he had ever thought possible and maybe on some level he had been scared to tell her, because by telling her he ran the risk of losing her and that scared him, both sides of him. Selfish, perhaps, but on another level, somewhat ironically, so very human.
"That's not--" Cutting himself off before he could respond impulsively in any way before he had a chance to think things through and respond sensibly, he took in a breath, his hands settling at his hips as he considered his options, mind ticking over as it worked things out. "I might have control of everything about me that is animal and not human, but there are a lot of my kind out there who don't, they don't care about the safety of others, human or otherwise. I was trying to protect you from them, and I know that seems stupid, that you might think that by telling you sooner I could have better prepared you, but if they think you know about them it draws unwelcome attention. Not to me, but to you." He wanted to walk closer but he knew she wouldn't welcome that, wouldn't really allow it. "And it has nothing to do with blending in, my being with you. I'm with you because I care about you, because I want to be with you. Everything I've ever shown around you, everything I've ever said, it's all been real."
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Gwen
Human
Artist/Gallery Owner
I must confess you're my safety pin; hold me together, hide me well.
Posts: 30
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Post by Gwen on Aug 17, 2010 22:03:55 GMT
"Real?" Gwen's short laugh was devoid of humour, it was scoffing and incredulous. "I've got no idea what's real and what's not right now. Not about you or any of this--" A sharp gesture to the room, indicating everything he had told her and then pointed at him accusatorially. "I think that by telling me sooner you'd have been honest with me! We live together, I moved in with you and that might not be a big deal for someone your age, but you know how shitty my relationships have been. I thought I knew you and now-- now I don't know you at all."
Thankfully she had to pause somewhat to regain her strength after that outburst, gathering her energy for another bout of yelling most likely, she slumped back against the edge of the dresser behind her a little. "How can I trust anything you tell me?" Gwen cried, tossing her hands up, just as the tears started to slip down her cheeks. "Didn't you trust me? I would've kept your stupid secret, I wouldn't've told anyone."
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