Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Nov 24, 2010 23:06:12 GMT
When they play-fought like this, it was difficult for Morgan to keep from thinking about the family they had lost, their mother and then their father, one so soon after the other, a double blow of pain and grief that was still raw and painful even now, years later. They kept one another strong but so easily Morgan could recall countless times when she had been little more than a child and she and Tomas had tussled just like this, tumbling over one another so much like wolves in the wild, play-fighting and learning as they went, interaction that was comforting and companionable, reassuring and familiar. Even as she loomed over her big brother, she couldn't help but think about those times when they had been tangled together, each trying so desperately to get -- and keep -- the upper hand and their mother or father would stumble across them with laughter on their lips and affection shining in their eyes.
Her smile took on a solemn edge. Try as she might it was suddenly difficult to keep hold of the careless air of frivolity from only moments before, and inside she felt a touch of guilt nibble away at her. They had been enjoying themselves and out of nowhere the memories and the sadness to go right along with them had taken hold and it was always so much harder to shake it off than it was to invite it into her heart and mind. Looking down at Tomas she saw their father in him, he looked so much like him just as she knew she resembled their mother. "I love it more when I win," she said to him, trying to feed her smile and encourage it to grow and suspecting she did a poor job. "And I'm pretty sure this counts as winning, at least last I checked."
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Tomas
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Fighter
Posts: 105
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Post by Tomas on Nov 29, 2010 21:56:58 GMT
Tomas did what he could to keep the thoughts of their parents pushed back and away until he was alone, preferring to let himself get lost in memories only when he was on his own and felt comfortable letting forth any emotions that came with them. Sometimes it was anger, sometimes it was sorrow. Either way, he preferred to be in his room alone when the thoughts came, if for no other reason that to keep Morgan from asking. He didn’t want to dredge up those memories for her if he could avoid it, especially when she seemed to be happy and involved in something else. Just because he tried to keep such thoughts pushed back, however, didn’t mean they always cooperated with him. They could come rushing back at the most random times, blindsiding him and leaving him mentally and emotionally reeling from the sudden impact.
He noticed the change in his sister, noting the subtle shifts in her smile and eyes that told him that something wasn’t quite right. They could always tell when the other’s mood shifted, even if it was so subtle that most others never would have realized that anything had changed. “All right. I admit defeat this time.” He stayed as he was for the time being, no longer desiring to knock her off him, and watched her. She had always looked a good deal like their mother, something that had gotten especially noticeable once she had grown up. “What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing. I know better.”
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Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Dec 1, 2010 17:44:04 GMT
Morgan could keep those thoughts back sometimes but not at all times, and out of respect for our parents she didn't try to keep them at bay that much. Sometimes it was good to remember their parents, their smiles and laughter, how their father used to wrap her up in those big bear-hugs of his and make her feel so warm and safe, like nothing could ever touch her, how their mother's hair had always smelled of flowers. Now, though, was one of the times when the thoughts were less than pleasant, when they didn't make her feel lucky to have known them and felt their love and affection as long as she had. Now they made her feel melancholy and weighed down inside with sadness and grief, the kind that rose up from time to time to disrupt happiness and times like this with her brother when everything seemed right and good.
With a sigh she let go of his wrists and settled herself down on him, her head on his chest, her hair spilling over his arm and shoulder with her blue eyes focused on nothing in particular off to the side. "I just started thinking about them." He felt warm and steady beneath her, reassuring and solid. Her big brother, close by and safe. In that moment she wanted to curl up with him like she had so frequently as a child, when he had already been fully grown and she had been so small compared to him. "About how much I miss them." Over the years she had managed to keep the tightness and tremor from her voice. It didn't make the loss any more real though.
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Tomas
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Fighter
Posts: 105
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Post by Tomas on Dec 1, 2010 21:07:02 GMT
Memories of their parents had the tendency to turn his attention completely away from what he might be doing at a particular moment, so the fighter preferred to wait until he was alone and had nothing that required his attention before he let them come forward full force. He wanted to be able to get truly lost in the good memories, allowing them to take his full focus. He liked to get lost in the past sometimes, remembering the way their mother had held and comforted him when he was small and something scared him or the way their father would always watch the sunset with him, that being their time to catch up with each other at the end of the day. There were times when those memories brought up feelings that were anything but happy, which he considered to be another very good reason to wait until he was alone to allow himself to get lost in his memories. He wasn’t worried about anyone seeing such things as a weakness, but aside from his sister, he just didn’t like letting his emotions showing up where others could see them. It was just a preference of his.
Putting his arms around her, Tomas gave his younger sister a little squeeze at her words, offering comfort in the best way he knew how. He knew that there were some in the pack who wouldn’t exactly consider him a cuddly individual, but what they didn’t see, his sister did. She was the one who would probably always know him best, as family getting to see past what the others got to see and to those parts of his personality that were typically hidden away. Tomas had every intention of always being there to curl up when she needed to, listening if she wanted to talk or just staying silent. Now that their parents had been mentioned, though, his own memories started to surface. “I know how you feel. They wouldn’t want us to be sad when we think about them, but it’s hard not to be sometimes.”
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Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Dec 4, 2010 19:57:01 GMT
Now that the moment had passed and she was draped across his chest staring off to the side with his arms wrapped around her, Morgan felt the first flicker of guilt for ruining the mood. Their parents wouldn't want them to be sad, as Tomas said, but she couldn't help it. Somehow, as a werewolf, the grief seemed worse. Maybe it was because they had longer to grieve, or maybe it was their semi-immortal status, that death was made all the worse because they could survive so much. Whatever the reason it didn't change the fact that their mother and father were gone and they were never coming back. For years after their father had disappeared Morgan had held out hope that one day he would just walk back into their lives and they would have at least one of their parents back but eventually that hope had died out, the last weak little flame had failed and she was left with the cold, painful knowledge that it was just the two of them now.
Still, it was better to have Tomas than no one at all. Wasn't it? Of course it was, but did that change the fact that she missed her parents and wanted them back? No, not at all. In some ways Morgan was still just a little girl and not having her mother and father to look up to still upset her to this day. "Yeah." Her voice was quiet and she sighed gently. "I just..." She debated lifting her head before saying what she went on to say before she felt the first prick of tears and that changed her mind for her. "I just miss them." She would never stop missing them, she knew; every day it seemed like she missed them more and more.
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Tomas
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Fighter
Posts: 105
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Post by Tomas on Dec 6, 2010 19:31:41 GMT
There was nothing for Morgan to feel guilty about. While he knew that their parents wouldn’t want them to be sad, it was impossible not to be sometimes. They had lost a great deal when they had lost their parents and, while they still had each other and that was something he never failed to be grateful for, it was sometimes still hard. He understood Morgan’s feelings and knew that there was nothing wrong with still grieving over their parents, but he hated seeing his sister like this. As her older brother, he wanted to push all of the sadness away and just let her be happy, even if he had to take it all upon himself. That was what older sibling were for, after all. Since he couldn’t do that, though, he gave her another quick squeeze.
“I do too. That isn’t ever going to change for either of us.” The pain of losing them could fade gradually over time, just as easily as it could continue to hurt the same from that day until the end of eternity. He had figured out that he could sort of hide behind being a fighter, using the same method of hiding his emotions he used while in the field in order to hide as many weaknesses as possible while at home in order to hide what he was feeling, especially around his sister when it was clear that she was already upset or put off by something. While his sister was the first- and oftentimes only- person he would share his feelings with, he was careful to keep them to himself when he thought it was best to do so.
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Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Dec 7, 2010 20:16:03 GMT
Tomas would never want her to feel guilty and neither would the parents she missed so fiercely but she was still relatively young as wolves went and they were emotional creatures at the best of times, frequently driven by those emotions; they seemed more in tune with them than humans, more perceptive definitely, and she could practically feel her brother's sorrow matching her own and that only made her feel all the more guilty for disrupting the light-hearted, free play they had been sharing before thoughts of their late mother and father had somehow worked their way into her brain. She knew Tomas didn't want her to be sad, would take it all away if he could, and she loved him all the more for that, but she felt sorry that she had dragged him down with her, really. That was what bothered her.
"I know," she said softly, finally lifting her head and resting her chin on his chest, meeting his pale eyes with her own and offering him a melancholy smile, a meek little thing that was apologetic and regretful. They could try to go back to play-fighting but she knew it wouldn't work, their hearts wouldn't be in it now that they had gotten onto the subject of their parents, and maybe the best thing to do was go with it, just ride it along, let it run its course. The subject was less than comfortable but would their parents want them to remember them fondly more than anything else? "Remember when I was little, and Dad would lift me up and put me on his shoulders and I would try to put things in your hair?" Her smile grew a little at that, some of the sadness dropping away, though not all. Not yet.
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Tomas
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Fighter
Posts: 105
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Post by Tomas on Dec 8, 2010 23:22:21 GMT
They had been having a good time until the memories of what they had lost had come to the surface, but no one could be blamed for that. Memories couldn’t always be controlled, occasionally coming to the surface when they were least expected and changing moods as quickly as they had come. It happened. Everyone, he thought, had memories like that- ones that could creep up on you at unexpected times and take your mood in a completely different direction than where it had been before the memories came to the surface. It was nothing to feel guilty about it, but he knew that it was reasoning Morgan wouldn’t listen to, just like he wouldn’t have had their positions been reversed.
He couldn’t help but give a soft laugh at the memories his sister’s question brought to mind. They were certainly better than the sadness that has so suddenly come over them. “All too well, just like I remember that, when I wasn’t fast enough at getting away, it could take me all day to get everything out of my hair. You always had way too much fun with that.” He was, perhaps, exaggerating a bit about not being fast enough. If he had really wanted to get away, he would have. “I never knew what would end up in my hair by the time you were through.”
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Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Jan 29, 2011 16:36:22 GMT
Morgan was a relatively young she-wolf who was content to share smiles and laughter with others but thoughts of her parents usually put an end to those things. Even discussing the happier memories tended to tug her down into a cloud of melancholy and she wished that wasn't the case. Wolves were just such loving creatures that having and then losing family was deeply painful, that pain echoed through the years and even decades after the loss it was still so raw. Morgan wished it didn't hurt so much, that she wasn't so capable of destroying what had been a good mood so effortlessly, but she could at least draw comfort from the fact that Tomas would never judge her, never hold it against her or blame her for how she felt, if only because he felt the same way.
She laughed at Tomas' confirmation of the memory. "God, that's right. I think the honey was the worst one." She briefly buried her face in her brother's chest as she laughed and then composed herself once again. "You still let me put bows in your hair after that, though. Why you trusted me, I'll never know." These were the things Morgan wanted to remember, the memories she wanted to revisit, the ones without shadow or pain. If only it were that easy to control where your mind went.
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Tomas
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Fighter
Posts: 105
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Post by Tomas on Feb 2, 2011 23:26:23 GMT
Tomas was sure that the happier memories of their parents weren’t supposed to bring their own kind of pain, but they often did. It had stopped being a surprise long ago, turning into something that when he thought about it, was understood. Sometimes it was a little hard to accept that even the good memories brought about such feelings of sadness and longing for what had been lost, but that was the way things were. It was something that he would never have been able to hold against or blame his sister for, even if he had wanted to. He understood extremely well how the memories could turn a mood around, make someone stop what they were doing and sit down and lose themselves in those thoughts and feelings.
Tomas gave a little laugh of his own when Morgan brought up the honey incident. He had had bugs following him until he had finally managed to get it all out, which had taken what had seemed like forever. Saying that he had been unhappy was an understatement, but it was something he had learned to laugh about. “That makes two of us,” Tomas told her. “Maybe I’ve always been slightly crazy and that’s why I let you near my hair afterwards. I guess it’s always going to be a mystery.” The new line of thought was, in his opinion, much better. At least that memory it had gotten his sister to laugh.
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Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Feb 9, 2011 19:51:38 GMT
Morgan couldn't help but giggle against her brother's chest when he replied to her. "Always been slightly crazy?" she echoed, lifting her head and settling her chin on him so she could at least partially meet his gaze. One of her brows quirked upwards and she allowed herself a small smirk. "I don't think anybody's going to argue with you on that one," she said to him with what was obviously intended to be a pitying sort of sigh before she smiled a little more fully. "In fact, I might just get up and go around and ask people about that right now." She even made to get up, making sure to push down on her brother's chest as she did so, her smile momentarily growing into a grin.
Morgan had her brother to thank for her ability bounce back so quickly; Tomas was always responsible for her speedy recoveries, if it wasn't for him she wouldn't have been able to clamber up out of the memories the way she did, pull herself out of the grip of the past, the things that would always hurt for years to come -- centuries, even -- and honestly she just didn't know where she would be without her brother. There was no one in the world she loved more and she hated that she hurt him -- no matter how inadvertently -- with her melancholy nostalgia. If she could help to bring him out of the past along with her, then that was what she would do, to the best of her ability.
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Tomas
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Fighter
Posts: 105
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Post by Tomas on Feb 13, 2011 21:31:40 GMT
Well, they certainly couldn’t let his dear baby sister run off and ask such questions of their pack mates, now could they? He, for one, didn’t think so. Morgan pushing down on his chest as she made to get up put her hands in the perfect position to be grabbed, which was exactly what he did in order to prevent her from standing, just in case she might actually follow through with it. With his sister, it was sometimes hard to tell what she was just making threats about and what she might actually do, even for him. It was, he figured, better to take the precaution and make sure she wouldn’t have a chance to get to the door until she stopped thinking in such a way. “How about not? Besides, if they agreed, they’d tell you that I have to be at least a little crazy. If I wasn’t, I’d never be able to keep up with you!”
Tomas had noticed that, more often than not, his mood had the tendency to reflect Morgan’s, but, when she seemed especially down, he always tried to keep his spirits up at least a little in hopes that he might be able to cheer her up if he did. He couldn’t really begin to guess how well that might work, but he did know that he was glad that his sister had cheered up so noticeably, even if it meant that he was getting picked on, something that, not only was he accustomed to and returned wholeheartedly, but he actually rather enjoyed most of the time. It was, he supposed, part of being a sibling.
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Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Feb 24, 2011 19:48:11 GMT
Morgan's jaw dropped in a feigned expression of indignation as her brother grabbed her wrists, keeping her from standing. "Oh, I see, you're going to turn it all back around on me. That's not sneaky at all." She mock-scowled down at him, allowing a little flicker of the wolf to the surface. There was a trace of a challenge in that gaze but Morgan knew Tomas wouldn't take it too seriously, that like so many of their exchanges it would automatically be taken as light-hearted and playful, anything but harmful or ill-willed. She loved her brother, more than anything else in the world, and if there was one thing she would go to great lengths to protect, it was Tomas.
"Are you going to let me go or do we have to get back to fighting?" she asked him, tilting her head just so, making her red hair tumble over her shoulders, a richly-coloured spill. "Because I think you and I both know how that turns out." A smile crept onto her face, one that soon transformed itself into an undeniably cheeky grin, the kind a little sister could easily get away with offering to a big brother without consequences. Well, at least without serious consequences.
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Tomas
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Fighter
Posts: 105
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Post by Tomas on Mar 2, 2011 19:32:31 GMT
Giving a soft snort of amusement, Tomas put on his best innocent look which, to be honest, wasn’t very good in such a situation. It wasn’t as if it mattered, after all, but he still tried. Since they were back to the playfulness, he intended to keep it going if he could. “I would never be sneaky. Never. You know that.” He saw the challenge but, as Morgan had been so right in thinking, he didn’t take it too seriously. He knew that she didn’t really mean anything by it. It was easy enough to figure out.
“You’re right. We both know how it’s going to turn out.” He gave her a grin of his own. “It ends with me winning, naturally.” He barely allowed the last word to leave his mouth before he lurched to the side, taking her with him. There were very few challenges Tomas wouldn’t take someone up on and Morgan had just offered up one that he couldn’t turn down. She very clearly needed to be reminded that he wasn’t going to let her get out of it that easily.
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Morgan
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack
Maybe all eyes are on you as you finish the race, and the world sees you struggling for last place.
Posts: 127
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Post by Morgan on Mar 6, 2011 16:02:58 GMT
Tomas was already ready and willing to keep her in good spirits when the opportunity arose and that was just one more reason -- on a very long list -- why she loved him so much. Even those with siblings were rarely so lucky as to have someone like Tomas as their big brother, so caring and selfless, so eager to put everything of their own to see to it that their little sister was happy and comfortable. It was almost like the universe had thought to make up for the loss of their parents ahead of time. Perhaps that was a strange way of looking at it but Morgan didn't care. It was a promising glimpse of a silver lining, one that she intended to keep in her sights for many years to come.
A rather undignified yelp escaped her as he sent them tumbling, her richly-coloured hair spilling over the carpet. When they had stopped rolling, she on top and he above, as had obviously been his intention, she fixed him with a stare that was almost cunning. Her laughter was amused and lightly mocking, her bottom lip briefly caught between her teeth. "You?" she all but scoffed though there was a playful air about her. "Winning? Pfft." Her smile was broad and confident. "Please. You never really win, we both know that." Yes, she was on the ground, thoroughly pinned -- for now -- but her smile hinted at a plan just up her sleeve, one she would unleash at any moment.
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