Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Nov 20, 2006 1:27:22 GMT
He listened as she left, returned, entered the room and then exited it again. Listened as well to all the things Calla couldn’t hear. All the things in the ether, which only those with distorted perceptions were aware of at all. Sometimes it wasn’t noise, but colour. Wonderful shades of dancing colours or sometimes shades of black that threatened to kill him, suffocate his mind and leave him for dead.
After a few more moments of listening to the phantom symphony Trent pushed himself upright, hand reaching out for the shower controls, finally turning the warm spray off. He staggered out of the cubical, and began the process of drying himself off and changing into the bed clothes. “Not now, I still have some money on my meter, you can’t come in yet,” Trent muttered to the air as he roughly rubbed at his hair.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Dec 6, 2006 6:48:53 GMT
The meal had been delicious, as always. Calla was a wonderful cook, something he tried to compliment her on whenever his mind was clear enough. The noise had swirled around his head as they had eaten, distracting him from the conversation. So much so that he had lost track of what Calla had been saying once or twice.
But the meal was over now, Trent resting his chin on his hands and staring blankly out into space. His mind felt like a broken piece of glass ware, each shard bright and reflecting different views and reflections. Each one belonging to a different Trent.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Dec 6, 2006 21:16:42 GMT
With dinner done and the dishes dealt with, Calla left the kitchen, stopping briefly on her way to the sofa to observe Trent. She had noticed that he had been distracted during dinner- how could she not?- and she could tell that he was distracted now. Deciding not to disturb him, Calla covered the rest of the area between her and the sofa, sitting at the end and curling her feet up beneath her, eyes on Trent, watching, prepared to spring to her feet and cross the distance between them at the first sign that things were getting bad for him.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Dec 9, 2006 1:43:59 GMT
Trent fidgeted slightly, still sitting by the table with his hands continuing to prop up his head as he gazed ahead. “The cat is in the cradle, kids tucked up in bed waiting for Santa to fill their dreams…” he mumbled, his right eye twitching a little. “But instead of oranges there is only coal and empty dreams. Broken hopes but what can be done…” he trailed off, chewing at his bottom lip.
The male werewolf carried on staring ahead almost ignoring Calla. As if he wasn’t truly aware of her presence. “Have to make sure there are nuts and fruit instead of coal…” Trent stood and shook his head, lifting a hand to chew at a finger. He moved towards the bedroom, still mumbling quietly to himself.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Dec 9, 2006 23:52:52 GMT
Biting her lower lip, Calla stood and followed him. At the moment, she preferred to keep him in sight. Catching up to him easily, she pushed Trent’s hand down. She really did hate it when he chewed at his finger like that.
“Do you want to lie down, Trent?” She was attempting to come up with an idea that had some possibility of helping him relax a little. “We can do that if you want to.”
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Dec 10, 2006 12:59:27 GMT
“No… no, I have to check…” Trent pulled away from Calla slightly, a distracted look in his eyes. His hand twitched in Calla’s own, fingers clenching and relaxing, scrabbling in her grip for something that only he knew and could see. He moved again, free hand undoing the clasps on his violin case and flipping the lid open.
Trent stared down at the instrument his hand hovering just above the highly polished wood. “Coal,” he whispered sadly. “I always get the coal…” Trent kept his hand hovering about an inch from his beloved instrument, as if something was holding him in place and keeping him there.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Dec 12, 2006 21:56:27 GMT
Calla had released him, allowing him to move as she tilted her head slightly to watch him. She gave a little sigh and leaned lightly against the wall, watching him, not interrupting whatever train of thought he happened to be on. So long as she could see him, she wasn’t going to be too worried. She always worried- of course she did- but so long as she had him in sight, she could relax at least a little.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Dec 14, 2006 21:37:39 GMT
Trent cocked his head to one side, still staring thoughtfully down at his instrument. The werewolf gently lowered his hand to finally touch the carefully polished wood, stroking and caressing it lovingly. “They want something,” Trent said, his voice a stage whisper. He half turned to look at Calla, a secretive smile on his face. “They want something but I’m not supposed to tell you that. So shush, don’t tell that I told.”
Still smiling he lifted the violin from its case and looked back at it for a moment before hurling it at the wall, a pleased expression on his face as if nothing was wrong and he tried to destroy one of his most prized possessions all the time.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Dec 14, 2006 22:51:16 GMT
Calla launched herself away from the wall and covered the distance quickly, catching the violin. Her momentum, however, kept her moving and she twisted, coming to a stop only when her shoulder hit the wall, the instrument cradled safely in her arms. From her new position, she looked at him, bewildered. She knew that Trent heard voices that told him to do things, but she wished that there was a way to convince him that he didn’t have to do whatever the voices told him to.
“Trent, love, you don’t have to give them anything. Just because they want it doesn’t mean that you have to give it to them. Especially when they want something that means as much to you as your violin does.”
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Dec 15, 2006 10:19:17 GMT
“I wasn’t doing what they told me,” Trent replied, lips twisted into an unhappy smile. “I wasn’t giving them what they wanted. They want my violin and I was trying to protect it…” In his own mind he was and flinging it away from him had been the best way to ensure its safety that he could think of. Of course, throwing it towards Calla would most probably have been even better, but it hadn’t occurred to him then.
“I’m sorry,” he told her miserably, meaning both his actions and the fact that she had hurt herself even if only slightly in protecting something he loved. She always protected him, but he would rather hand burn a thousand violins while in a clear mind than be the cause of any hurt to her. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Dec 15, 2006 20:59:43 GMT
Calla tried her best to understand Trent- she usually managed it, too- but sometimes she simply read his actions and words the wrong way. She had learned to admit when she was wrong, but only to herself and Trent; it was no one else’s business if she was right or wrong.
Putting the violin carefully into its case, Calla moved to Trent. Reaching out, she took his face gently between her hands, waiting for him to meet her gaze before saying softly, “You don’t have anything to apologize fore. I’m sorry for not understanding and for the tone I used.” While her tone had not been harsh, she still couldn’t help but feel guilty about it. “You just caught me off guard.”
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Dec 23, 2006 19:34:44 GMT
He let her hold his face for a few moments before moving, arms wrapping tightly around Calla and drawing her close. All around them he could see things. Images in the corner of his eye that if he was to look directly at would either vanish or blind him. Trent was trying so hard to be normal tonight, to claw his way to one of his rare moments of sanity. He wanted – for Calla’s sake most of all – to be sane again, even if only for a little while. She deserved that. The werewolf dipped his head down, kissing her.
“Don’t look,” Trent whispered between fast little kisses to the top of Calla’s head. If however, he was telling her not to look at the imaginary demons in the room or not to look at the broken remains of him, not even he knew. “Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.”
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Dec 24, 2006 0:26:13 GMT
Calla leaned against him lightly, putting her arms around his waist and holding him just as close as he was holding her. Giving a soft sigh, she simply stayed as she was, remaining silent. She hated herself for not knowing what to do for him. Despite all of the things she could do, she couldn’t do the one thing she wanted to do most of all: she couldn’t make him better. She saw nothing wrong with him- she adored Trent just as he was- but he was just so unhappy sometimes and she wanted to put an end to that. He didn’t deserve unhappiness.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Dec 24, 2006 16:24:25 GMT
The repeated litany of ‘Don’t look’ soon merged into one long continued word, making it hard to determine where the ‘don’t’ ended and the ‘look’ began. After a few moments even that faded away, the words dying and vanishing so that he was simply holding her quietly, lips resting softly against her head.
Trent’s whole world was wrapped up in his arms and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Calla. Even fighting this… state of being. He could do that for her, she was so patient with him even during his bad days, his angry fits that at the very least he had to try. “The old man took my hand and turned me away whispers in my ear to understand for another day. Old man time froze my glass but he froze my mind…” He rested his cheek against her hair, eyes wide and dry. “Do you sometimes wonder what I should have been like?”
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Dec 24, 2006 17:06:24 GMT
Calla gave a soft sigh and closed her eyes, still resting against him. Yes, she did sometimes wonder that. She wondered if, perhaps, they never should have met. If that would have been better for him. After all, the last attack that his father had launched against him had been because of her. Would Trent have been better off without her? Been happier? Those were thoughts she had only admitted to herself. There was nothing that could be done now. She had made her choices and, unfortunately, Trent had to live with them. Though she wouldn’t trade him for anything, she couldn’t help but sometimes wonder if it would have been best for him if she had never entered his life.
“If not for me, you would have been different,” she admitted, finally opening her eyes again, “and, yes, sometimes I do wonder. There’s nothing wrong with you, Trent. I love you more than I ever knew was possible, but… well, I can’t help but occasionally wonder if things would have been better for you had we never met.”
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