Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Mar 11, 2007 18:17:41 GMT
He whimpered pathetically, shaking his head as his body continued to spin out of control, both mentally and physically. Everything, everywhere hurt with the promise of more pain to come. There was no end to the pain and Trent didn’t know what to do. There was no Calla here, why was there no Calla? He needed Calla, she fixed everything.
Trent sobbed, body flailing as he reached out, trying to find Calla through the noise and the demons. She might be in trouble, along somewhere and he had to get to her. “Cal… Calla…” he forced out between numb lips, eyes wide and staring yet still unseeing.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Mar 12, 2007 16:28:21 GMT
Very few things could send Calla into a panic, but this was really pushing her towards it. She didn’t know what to do and that was a feeling that she hated. Had they not been werewolves, she would have immediately called an ambulance. As it was, though, she didn’t quite dare risk it. Not yet. Though, if he continued to get worse, she thought that she just might have to throw caution and her disgust of humans out the window and see if there was anything medical professionals could do.
“Trent, I’m right here.” She took his face between her hands gently. “You have to calm down for me. I need you to.” While she had no idea as to whether or not anything she was saying was getting through to him, she had to try. “Please, love…”
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Apr 2, 2007 14:09:57 GMT
He had been promised a trip to the music store today and the possibility of eating out in public with Calla the day after. He had been promised time with Calla, any kind of time with her and it wasn't fair that the voices pulled at his mind now, trying to unravel him and leave him spent. It wasn't right that the monsters in the dark were trying to take away some of the pleasures in his life and even as he continued to scream and sob, voice operating without his consent, Trent was trying his best to fight past the darkness and fear.
Trying to reach his promised land. Trent could feel something on his face, cool fingers and for a moment as he blinked and peered upwards it was a disgusting monster, with cold, dead fingers. The image passed and he found himself staring up at his angel. He reached out, screams dropping to soft whimpers, fingers trembling as he paused an inch away from her face. He was scared to actually touch Calla in case it was another fake image, but he wanted it to be her so badly. He wanted to have been strong enough to fight past the monsters on the paths of his soul, tonight at least.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Apr 2, 2007 18:44:42 GMT
Stroking his face gently, Calla spoke softly. “Shh. It’s okay. So long as I’m here, the monsters won’t get you. I’ll make sure of it.” She could be strong enough for the both of them and would fight for Trent’s mind for the rest of eternity if that was what it came down to. She didn’t care- absolutely nothing was too much when it came to him. No matter what it took, Calla would do anything in her power to help him in whatever way she could.
If Trent could pull through this (she was absolutely positive that he could) and was still up for it, she had every intention of still going to the music store. She had seen how much he wanted to the previous night, so as long as he still wanted to, she thought they could make the trip. After all, if he had another episode, she knew that she could manage to get him back home. Maybe going to the music store would even be good for him, something that she was very desperately hoping it would be.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Apr 4, 2007 19:53:04 GMT
It really was Calla, something Trent was at once both greatful for and horrifed about. Pathertically greatful in fact, so happy that for once he had been seeing what was really there and not some trick of his own minds making. She was there and she hadn't left him, despite his 'episode'. Horrifed because it meant she was seeing him at his weakess and Trent knew that Calla deserved a stronger mate.
“Caro” he whispered, finally letting his fingers touch her face, some sebrance of sanity restored although as always he was not completely 'normal' and for the time being at least, Trent seemed firmly in the past when he had spoken nothing but Italian, the whispered word of beloved showing that he knew her still.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Apr 5, 2007 20:09:16 GMT
Calla smiled softly, stroking his face gently. He seemed to be coming around a bit and that was most certainly a relief. These episodes always terrified her; Calla did her best to stay calm and keep her head because she knew that that was what was best for Trent at these times, but sometimes, when she knew that he wouldn’t see, she would let the fear overtake her and tremble uncontrollably, occasionally allowing tears to flow, simply because she knew that she needed to allow it some sort of outlet. She absolutely hated to lose control, but she also knew that she needed to occasionally if she was going to keep being strong.
Had Trent’s feelings of Calla deserving a stronger mate been spoken, she would have pointed out that, in her eyes, he was absolutely perfect. He was the only one who had ever truly gotten to see who she could be rather than just who she showed to the world. She didn’t know what she deserved, but he was what she wanted, what she needed.
“Zittire, caro. Tutto Ÿ va bene. Sono qui, e won't essere andare dappertutto.” Her voice was soft as she spoke in Italian, telling him that she wasn’t going anywhere. She had come to take her cues from Trent at these times and knew that when he was speaking Italian, it was best to do so as well.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Apr 22, 2007 10:48:29 GMT
His angel speaking the language of the saints was too much for Trent, the werewolf’s eyes brimming up with tears again. The tears however were not ones of pain or fear or loneliness, as they had been mere moments before. Instead they were tears of joy, a feeling bordering on ecstasy and had he been thinking more clearly – as clearly as he could anyway – Trent would have realised he was in one of his mood swings, feelings switching rapidly from one extreme to another. It wasn’t completely normal and certainly not a sign that he was back to his usual state.
Trent always thought joy was better than soul crushing sorrow.
He let her stroke his face for a few more moments before shifting, noticing with some bewilderment that he appeared to be on his back on the hard floor of the bedroom. Trent decided however not to let this bother him and focused on the much more important thing, getting upright and leaning into Calla, whispering softly back to her in Italian, nonsense words, speaking just for the sake of speaking, words of comfort and sadness.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Apr 22, 2007 16:25:15 GMT
Calla gave a deep sigh, allowing her muscles to relax. She knew these mood swings well and as such, knew how to handle them. If she could get him back to his normal state, they would still go out a bit later and if not, well, they could take a trip to the music store when he was more up for it. She had taken him out when he had been in one of his mood swings before and had quickly learned that that was perhaps not the best thing she could do, mainly because she had nearly hit someone when they had tried to throw Trent out of the shop they had been in. Given the chance, she would have very likely broken the man’s nose.
When she saw that Trent wanted to get upright she shifted slightly in order to help him. She let him speak, having learned that, sometimes in this state, Trent simply liked to speak. It was no hardship to allow him this, but she would very quickly step in if he started to say something that needed to be addressed.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Apr 24, 2007 0:46:03 GMT
He wasn’t completely sure what he was saying and really, he didn’t particularly care. Words could be like musical notes sometimes; not their meaning and the order they were spoken, not in that way. Trent had never been very good at ordering the words like that. But the sound of a word could have its own meaning, a musical tone and as he spoke it was those notes he was listening to, letting them sing in his head, a song that only he could understand and certainly not one he could ever explain well enough to anyone else. It was what it was, just as he was what he was.
Slowly the words died down, Trent sighing and relaxing limply against Calla, as if the energy spent in screaming and crying had been too much and now he had nothing left with which to even hold himself upright without support. For a few moments he simply allowed himself to rest there, breathing in her scent and trying to create some kind of sanity inside his own mind.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Apr 24, 2007 16:12:07 GMT
Calla shifted into a more comfortable position on the floor and let Trent lean against her, putting one arm around his waist for further support while stroking his hair with her other hand. She was more than willing to sit there just as they were for as long as Trent needed to, just as she always was. Once again, though, she was wishing desperately that there was more she could do for him.
It simply wasn’t fair. She had had a hand in making him this way and yet there was nothing that she could do to reverse it. Yes, she had done what she had in an attempt to help him, but it seemed that she had really done more harm than good. For now, she forced those thoughts away. Trent didn’t need her dwelling on the things that couldn’t be changed.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Apr 25, 2007 0:14:58 GMT
Here in Calla’s arms it was good. Here it was safe and she was safe and the whole thing… was good. Trent felt exhausted, as if he had been out for a long run or up for hours upon hours instead of simply having woken from a bad dream not too long ago. Still, he had long ago come to accept that his body and mind didn’t really work in the same way as others, not a human or a werewolf.
“Dark thoughts and dreams. Little whispers worming through places that shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be. Shouldn’t be…” his voice got softer and softer as he spoke before trailing off completely.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Apr 25, 2007 15:51:47 GMT
Sighing softly, Calla said, “I wish I could change things for you. You know that I would if it was in my power to, don’t you? As it is, we have to take things as they are, but I promise that I’ll do whatever I can to help you.” She had promised that before and she really did do her best, but it was never really good enough. No matter how hard she tried, it just seemed as if she was struggling against a current that was too strong even for her. Despite that, she wasn’t about to give up. Not when Trent needed her. And, truth be known, she needed him just as much.
Calla had always put up a strong front and until she had met Trent, she had truly thought that she was strong. She had never needed anyone before and yet she needed him and only him. She doubted that Trent knew it, but he had more power over her than anyone had ever had or could ever hope to have. She depended on him just as much as he did her. Yes, it was in different ways, but it was the truth all the same.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on Apr 29, 2007 19:20:23 GMT
“Something is coming. I can feel it… it lurks in the dark and twists through earth and stone. Always watching, ever waiting for its time. It thinks it is now and so comes…” Trent’s breath caught in his throat, eyes wide and staring as he looked at her. “It comes for us all.” He shook his head sadly, reaching out to lightly stroke at Calla’s hair. “The monster in the deep calls to all the monsters in us and how can we fight such darkness in ourselves when it knows us?”
He wasn’t sure where this change of mood had come from, but in a way it was slightly better than the euphoric shift from sadness to glee or glee to sadness. It signified that slowly his mind was ending the seesawing of one state to another. Bit by bit he was returning to as normal as he could be, even if his mood at the moment appeared somewhat morose.
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Callandra
Rogue Werewolf
Freelance Graphics Designer
Posts: 132
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Post by Callandra on Apr 30, 2007 19:06:31 GMT
There was nothing coming but the final night of the full moon, but Calla didn’t say that. Instead, she kissed his forehead gently and said, “We can fight it, Trent. We’re stronger than it is and therefore, we can win.” She had been around Trent long enough to recognize the signs of his return to normalcy and knew that, so long as progress continued to be made, he would be back to himself before too much longer.
It was not that she was impatient- at least, not with Trent- but she hated to see him in such a spiral and wanted nothing more for him to get back to what was normal for him. It hurt her deeply knowing that all she could offer in the realm of comfort were soft words and gentle touches; she felt as if she should be able to do something more for him, even if she didn’t know what.
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Trent
Rogue Werewolf
Violinist
Posts: 132
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Post by Trent on May 7, 2007 3:55:54 GMT
“It’s all background noise,” Trent announced suddenly, eyes glinting brightly. “Everything else aside from the fight is background noise… white… fuzzy… unimportant…” he sighed lightly and tilted his head back, angling it in order to get a better look at Calla, smiling softly at her. “Eventually there will come a time when the fight is lost.”
He didn’t appear overly bothered by this declaration of cynicism, simply smiling up at his mate, acting as if the thing he had just said was a perfectly normal comment. Then again, when it came to Trent and ‘normal’, anything could be said and done. Normality was overrated anyway. “We can’t fight forever… but should we even try?” The last few words were spoken as a question, Trent needing the reassurance right now.
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