Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Jul 1, 2010 3:21:02 GMT
Will laughed, though it was little more than an amused exhale. However, his humor was bitter -- biting -- directed not toward Kennedy, but to himself. "Yes, I am," he deadpanned. "Fat lot of good it's done me now."
That name, the title that his pack mates new him by, the name that he carried with such pride, seemed all but useless in this awful moment. Yes, he was William Allan Murphy II, born of Scotland and one of the finest swordsmen in the pack. But it was just a fucking name. A name that had done nothing to keep this heartache from consuming him so completely.
A name that hadn't prevented his mate from leaving. What good was it?
What good was he? He had loved Heidi more than anything, taken her into his heart and pledged to do anything for her. Why hadn't that been enough? Where the hell had he gone wrong?
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Kennedy
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Senior Fighter
Get up, get out, get away from these liars.
Posts: 85
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Post by Kennedy on Aug 21, 2010 19:54:59 GMT
Will blamed himself for Heidi's departure, and as ridiculous a notion as that was -- Will couldn't drive people away if he tried, unless of course they were opponents in a fight and he was doing his job -- she knew it didn't work that way. It wasn't logic or sense that ruled his actions or thought processes right now. It was his emotions. He felt like he had failed, and for some people, that could be downright devastating. All she had needed was one look at Will, and she had known it was destroying him. It was her job to make sure it didn't succeed.
She rose from her seat and stepped around the small folding table she had set up, pausing a moment before she settled into place beside him on the end of the bed. In a way, Kennedy was inviting herself into his personal space, but they were both wolves, they were both pack, and at the end of the day, what they needed was companionship. Will was lonely, she could read that in every line of his body, every wearied shadow that played over his face. She set her hand on his knee and gave it a light squeeze. Heidi might have left, but she wasn't going anywhere. Kennedy would stay with him as long as he needed her.
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Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Aug 23, 2010 17:08:53 GMT
When Kennedy settled her hand on his knee, Will heard himself release a breath he hadn't realized that he had been holding. Since Heidi had left, the fighter had essentially cut himself off from the rest of the pack -- or done his best to -- simply because he wasn't sure how to manage the grief that kept tearing away at him. He kept trying to lock himself away and deal with his pain by himself because he didn't want the rest of the pack to see one of their fighters in this state. It was weak, it was unbecoming; he needed to pull his act together before he could be seen, he didn't want to pull anyone else down with him.
It wasn't until now that William realized his mistake. He should have known better to begin with -- this was what pack was for. Of course a wolf needed his pack on a daily basis, but especially in a time like this, when everything seemed so hopeless. Will needed the contact, the love and the support, and he knew deep down that he was a fool for trying to shut it out.
So he took Kennedy's hand. He placed his big, calloused hand on top of the smaller one that she had set atop his knee and carefully slotted their fingers together. "She asked me to go with her," he rasped finally. "She said we could still be together..."
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Kennedy
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Senior Fighter
Get up, get out, get away from these liars.
Posts: 85
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Post by Kennedy on Sept 4, 2010 13:38:30 GMT
That isolation certainly hadn't gone unnoticed by the senior fighter within the pack and it was her love for him and her desire to protect her family -- never mind that they weren't related by blood, that didn't make the slightest bit of difference to her and it never had, nor would it ever -- had seen her visiting him frequently, checking up on him through various means, whether it was personal appearances or via word of mouth, things people had seen or heard when it came to the Scotsman. Kennedy took care of her own; that was a responsibility she took very seriously.
Her smile was quiet when Will's big, strong hand covered hers, her eyes briefly down on the contact before they lifted to find her friend's face, even as his fingers found the spaces between hers. This was pack, family, love and trust and everything they, as wolves, needed. Her smile had faded into the background when he spoke again, and she turned her hand around, slotting their fingers together again.
"She made her choice, and you made yours," she told him softly, giving his big hand a squeeze. "It hurts right now, but she isn't gone forever, Will. I believe that, Cole believes that, Steven, Dia... we all do. Deep down, I know you do too." It was true that Kennedy didn't know when that would be, that return of the former Beta, but if nothing else she had to believe it for Will's sake, because Heidi's absence was tearing him apart. "And while she's gone, you can let your friends fill some of that void she left behind."
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Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Oct 12, 2010 15:20:03 GMT
The big, Scottish wolf's eyes slipped shut. He wanted to be hopeful, truly he did, but considering how things ended, it was difficult to grasp onto any kind light. "You should have seen how she looked at me," he said on a whisper. "When I told her I couldn't leave L.A. -- couldn't leave the pack... "
They hadn't fought about it, surprisingly enough. William had been nothing short of shocked when Heidi had announced her intention to leave, of course, and he had been angry, originally. He didn't understand how she could want to split away from this pack -- there home -- like that, it just didn't connect in his mind. She'd had her reasons, and she had explained them to him, but when the question came, when she had asked him to leave with her, he knew the answer wouldn't be one she wanted to hear.
"Maybe we weren't meant to be in the first place," Will said quietly. "She's my mate. I should want to be with her, but I just couldn't leave..."
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Kennedy
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Senior Fighter
Get up, get out, get away from these liars.
Posts: 85
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Post by Kennedy on Oct 25, 2010 14:33:53 GMT
Kennedy squeezed his hand again and gave him another one of her little smiles. Strange as it seemed she wished she had been through the same thing so she could offer him words with the right weight and impact, the right meaning. She could only guess at the pain he was feeling in his separation from his mate and she knew that wasn't enough. Kennedy had no idea how it felt to basically be split in two. She had lost her sister and her parents, yes, but not her mate. That was a pain she had never had to suffer.
"Well, for what it's worth," she told him, choosing her words carefully so as not to send the wrong message, "I'm glad you didn't leave too." Again she squeezed his hand, much bigger than her own. "The fighters are my family, and you've always been like a brother to me." Her smile grew a little. "It sounds selfish, I know, but believe me when I say you would have been missed. Deeply. And not just by me." Kennedy believed that, too, that every single fighter would have felt Will's absence intensely.
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Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Dec 23, 2010 21:50:31 GMT
It wasn't quite a smile that brushed itself across William's tired face, but there was still that slight upturn of his lips. He'd loved Heidi -- he still did -- and being separated from her like this was so much more painful than any battle wound. Nonetheless, he belonged here, in Los Angeles and within Cole's pack. They were his family, his home; he could have been happy if he'd left with Heidi, but he would have felt incomplete somehow.
He couldn't simply survive in a pack of two. He didn't function that way. As much as he missed his mate, he needed the rest of his packmates, as well.
"Irina would've skinned me if I'd left," he managed to joke, weakly. "Or tried to lock me in a closet somewhere, at the very least."
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Kennedy
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Senior Fighter
Get up, get out, get away from these liars.
Posts: 85
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Post by Kennedy on Jan 29, 2011 16:36:51 GMT
Kennedy fully believed that Will would get better over time. She couldn't guarantee it, couldn't speak from experience -- she wasn't entirely sure losing her sister or her parents was the same in any way -- but she knew the strength of Will's character, how stubborn and defiant he was. He would get past this because he was strong and he was a fighter in every way. However she could help, she would, and she squeezed his hand again to tell him that much, perhaps needlessly.
"You've got that right," Kennedy said with a soft laugh. "You don't want to provoke Irina's wrath," she agreed, shaking her head. "I don't think there's a single member of this pack who would say otherwise, either." She smiled. "Hell, maybe even Cole and Dia would try to avoid that. You never know. Irina's pretty scary when she wants to be."
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Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Feb 7, 2011 22:32:58 GMT
Will exhaled on what might have been a chuckle, quiet though it was. Truth be told, he could think of a number of wolves who would have threatened bodily harm on him, had he actually considered leaving. There was too much for him here, in L.A. with Cole's pack -- too many people that he had loved and protected, even before Heidi. He was a fighter, someone who had promised to protect the pack at all costs.
He had to stay. He was meant to stay. The Scottish wolf rubbed a hand across his face once more and gave his head a brief shake; shaggy, unkempt hair flopped about his ears, but the movement seemed to tear away the cobwebs that had built up in his mind. He didn't expect anything to be easy from here on out, but he had to try. He would be no use to the pack if he starved himself, either. Kennedy was offered a small, tired smile when he asked, "What flavor?"
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Kennedy
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Senior Fighter
Get up, get out, get away from these liars.
Posts: 85
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Post by Kennedy on Feb 17, 2011 22:53:21 GMT
Many would have threatened but if Will had actually chosen to leave, none would have stopped him. The pack was a choice, they respected free will and individuality and if the fighter sitting at her side now had decided he no longer belonged in Los Angeles with the rest of them, they would have missed him, yes, but he would have met no resistance. Kennedy would have felt his absence deeply, just as she did when any of her own -- the fighters -- left them for whatever reason, whether it was a choice or something beyond their control, something fatal and final that resonated through the pack for years to come. Just like the loss of her sister.
With a smile she considered him anew, the returning resolve and strength she had long since come to associate with him. It was a flicker, a promise of recovery, but it was enough. It was a start. Her smile grew when he asked her that and a hint of mischief played over her face. "Ah, nothing but the best for my guys," she said to him, "you know that." She reached out and grabbed the tub, spoon and all, and offered it towards him. "Rocky Road."
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Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Feb 18, 2011 18:51:52 GMT
Will knew he needed something more substantial than ice cream to fill his belly but, considering the amount of time he'd gone without eating, period, it was better than nothing. The sugar would give him energy, maybe even enough to do simple things. Like shaving. It would be a start, if nothing else and there was no telling where he could go from there. Maybe he'd even leave his room at last.
The bedraggled wolf took up the carton and the spoon, pulling the busted pieces of himself together as he managed to feed himself a spoonful or two of the rich dessert. He was a pack fighter. He was responsible for the well-being of his fellow wolves, and the fact that he had nearly given it all up seemed to click with him. What would he have done if something had happened? If someone had been hurt?
"Did I miss anything?" he finally asked. "Is everyone all right?"
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Kennedy
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Senior Fighter
Get up, get out, get away from these liars.
Posts: 85
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Post by Kennedy on Feb 26, 2011 19:01:35 GMT
"Umm, let's see." Kennedy took a few moments to get herself more comfortable, turning so she could side on the end of his bed but also face him at the same time, toeing off her slip-on shoes to cross her legs beneath her on the mattress. "Oh, Rowena is working on a room for the baby; I haven't seen it, but I'm pretty sure Wayne went to check it out." She paused. "Okay, it's not a room for the baby so much as it is for Dia in the meantime, if that makes sense?" The pack's midwife could probably explain it a lot better than the senior fighter, but she gave Will a smile and knew it would be enough information for him.
"What else?" Her eyes narrowed as she thought back over the time between Heidi leaving and present day. "Susie is starting to settle down. I sat with her the other day. She's the cutest thing." There was a sad sigh wrapped around the last few words as Kennedy glanced off to the side. "You missed Kate's rainbow hair too." A smile that was so very close to becoming a grin made its way to her face. "I don't even know how Jeremy did it, but there are pictures. I'll have to see if I can dig some up later, you'll love it." Kennedy considered mentioning Nerys moving her things into what had been Heidi's office but she didn't think Will needed the reminder that his mate was gone and everyone else was already moving on.
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Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Mar 1, 2011 21:07:19 GMT
Will took in what Kennedy told him, all the while slowly spooning in mouthfuls of the slowly melting ice cream. Even after those first few spoonfuls, he could feel himself pulling back together, scattered pieces finding where they needed to go. He certainly still felt rough -- probably would for awhile -- but this was definitely improvement. The mention of Kate's hair and whatever prank Jeremy had pulled was enough to make the Scottish fighter laugh, though that proved to be difficult with a mouthful of Rocky Road.
"Jeremy what?" he spluttered against the icy cold that threatened to slide down his windpipe. Settled somewhere between horrified and highly amused, he managed to swallow his ice cream, as opposed to inhaling it. "Is he still alive? Kate didn't string him by his ankles or anything, did he?"
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Kennedy
Pack Werewolf
Cole's Pack: Senior Fighter
Get up, get out, get away from these liars.
Posts: 85
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Post by Kennedy on Mar 6, 2011 15:12:28 GMT
The sugar would help, Kennedy was sure of that. Meat would be much better for getting Will back on his feet but at the end of the day calories were calories. So long as he got something of substance in his stomach then he would feel better. They could work their way up to real food later. For now, the ice cream would be enough. At the very least he was enjoying it, just as anyone in need of a pick-me-up enjoyed ice cream, and that had been part of the reasoning behind grabbing the carton from the freezer.
His laugh made her smile, a sound she had missed, and just briefly it became a grin, thoroughly amused as well as relieved. Will would be all right. "He's still alive. You know Jeremy, he's quick on his feet and a lot smarter than most people give him credit for. Kate hasn't managed to get his hands on him yet." Kennedy liked Jeremy, there was something so child-like and spontaneous about him and in a pack that had had its share of troubles that was something they just couldn't do without. "I can say that I've never heard such colourful language before though." A soft, somewhat unladylike snort sounded. "Almost as colourful as his hair."
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Will
Pack Werewolf
Departed
Almost human, but I'll never be the same.
Posts: 85
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Post by Will on Mar 14, 2011 17:33:12 GMT
William closed his eyes and breathed slowly. He counted to ten. As packs went, Cole's was one of the strongest he had ever encountered. There was a reason their territory was so expansive, after all. Of course the Scottish fighter was fairly certain that he had never encountered a pack full of so many mischief-driven wolves. As far as Will was concerned there was nothing wrong with that -- the younger wolves kept the rest of them from brooding.
At the same time, he was beginning to consider curling up and going back to sleep. Bracing as it was, sometimes Will wondered whether he was starting to get too old for this brand of excitement. He was fairly certain werewolves could still be susceptible to stress-related heart conditions.
"If he gets caught," Will warned. "I'm not cleaning it up."
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